she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
