Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
