my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
