how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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