I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
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