i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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