I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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