kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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