I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
