i just google imaged poop.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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