I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
