Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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