Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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