In the future we'll all be gay
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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