but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
