His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You peed on a flamingo?!?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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