they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
