Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
