I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
