Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
