so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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