I am spending my child support on dildos
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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