idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Randomize
