Tell her she can't have a vagina
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
