we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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