mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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