No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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