I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
