you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I understand Curling. That high.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
