I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
