I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
