Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
