I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize