i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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