So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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