Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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