first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
