Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
