Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
