I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
