i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
