On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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