We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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