it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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