That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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