So drunk its hurt
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
