Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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