Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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