Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
