when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
