the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
