You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
