Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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