I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
