Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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