No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
