they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
