Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
